Wedding Guest Color Checker

Quick answer: you can wear black to most weddings today — every guide here says so — except a traditional Chinese or Indian wedding, where it reads as mourning. Never wear white, ivory or cream unless the couple asks. A bright red splits the guides at a Western wedding and is the bride’s colour at many Chinese and Indian ones. Tap your colour and the wedding above for your answer, with the guides’ own words.

How to use it

Tap your colour: a family first (the neutrals, the wedding shades — ivory, champagne, gold, silver, blush, neon — or a place on the colour wheel), then the shade. Say whose wedding it is (Western, Chinese or Indian), and as much as you know about it: the dress code, the time, the season and the venue. Leave any of them on not sure. Two things only you know come last: whether it’s the bridesmaids’ colour, and whether the couple asked guests to wear it. You get a yes, a think twice or a no, every reason in the guides’ own words, any guide that disagrees, and six safe colours for that wedding. Copy the link to send it to whoever you’re going with.

The rules, and who says them

White is the bride’s. WeddingWire: “It turns out that white is still the main color you can’t wear to a wedding.” Beaumont Etiquette’s Anne Chertoff, in Beaumont Etiquette: “Unless the couple is planning a white wedding dress code, guests should avoid wearing white, ivory, or a similar shade to a wedding.” So is anything close to it — “Ivory, off-white, cream, eggshell, vanilla, bone” — and a pastel so pale it photographs white: “If it retains its pink or green hue, it’s fine to wear.”

Black is fine — mostly. The Knot: “Generally, wearing black to a wedding is appropriate.” Green Wedding Shoes adds when it fits best: “In many cases, wearing black to a black tie wedding is not only allowed, but actually encouraged.” — and when it doesn’t: “And finally, if the dress code reads casual, then you may want to leave the black ‘fit at home.” Not every guide is easy about it: Alison Hargreaves in HELLO!: “Unless the dress code has specified it, I’d always encourage caution around choosing predominantly black outfits for a wedding.”

Red depends on whose wedding. At a Western wedding the etiquette experts in Who What Wear split: Elaine Swann — “It is acceptable to wear red to a wedding.” — and Diane Gottsman — “A bright red [or] loud crowd-stopping red is not appropriate.” At a Chinese or Indian wedding WeddingWire is plain: “Brides usually wear red at Chinese weddings, and often at Indian weddings, as well.” One guide disagrees for Chinese weddings — a planner in The Knot: “Yes, red is highly encouraged!” — so the checker shows both and says ask.

Culture changes black and white too. The Knot: “The dark hue is often discouraged at traditional Indian and Chinese weddings, for example, as it represents mourning.” Aza Fashions: “In most Hindu traditions, white is the colour of mourning and grief.”

The couple’s word beats every rule, and the bridesmaids’ colour is theirs: Bella Bridesmaids — “If the couple requests that you wear a specific color to coordinate with their theme, do so.” — and Chertoff: “If a guest knows what color the bridesmaids are wearing, they should avoid wearing the same color dress.”

The time, the season, the dress code and the venue move some of these: a black-tie wedding turns brights into a think twice, a winter wedding does the same to pastels, a casual, daytime, garden or beach wedding does it to black, and a fall, winter or festive wedding turns a Western think twice on red into a yes.

What is ours: the 50 shades and which group each is in, and how the rules add up — the couple’s request first, then the worst verdict any rule gives — and the order of the safe colours. Every rule itself is the guides’.

Worked examples

• Black to a daytime garden wedding: think twice about black. A casual, daytime, garden or beach wedding leans to lighter colours. Black can feel heavy there (try navy).
• Red to a Western winter wedding: yes, wear red. A fall, winter or “festive” wedding is red’s best moment.
• Red to a Chinese wedding: no, don’t wear red. Red is the bride’s colour at many Chinese and Indian weddings: a red outfit can look like you are competing with her. The Knot’s planner is the one guide that says otherwise, so ask the couple.
• Blush to a spring wedding: think twice about blush. A barely-there pastel can look white in photos. Photograph it in daylight first: if it keeps its colour, wear it.

Common mistakes

• Calling it ivory, not white. Every guide counts ivory, cream and off-white as white.
• A white-ground print. A floral, stripe or polka dot that is mostly white reads as white in photos.
• Trusting the shop’s lighting. A pale pastel can look white outdoors: photograph it in daylight before the day.
• Matching the bridesmaids by accident. The invitation and the wedding website usually show the wedding’s colours.
• Bringing Western rules to a Chinese or Indian wedding. Black and white mean mourning there, and red is the bride’s.

Frequently asked questions

On Needle Style

Outfits for the day: outfit ideas for wedding guests, wedding guest dress ideas, winter wedding guest outfits, fall wedding guest outfits and what to wear to an outdoor wedding.

More free tools: the dress code decoder, the mother of the bride dress planner and the outfit color matcher.